Top 10 New Features of Windows 97®

10.    Properties dialog box now includes Boardwalk and Pennsylvania Avenue.
9.    Catch "Resistance is futile; you will be assimilated" splash screen.
8.    Odor files. (That's "odour" for our British friends.)
7.    New 18-Hour Control Panel, by Platex.
6.    Point-and-click interface replaced by innovative hunt-and-peck nterface.
5.    Free Tickle-Me-Bill-Gates doll with every purchase.
4.    General Protection fault has be demoted to Sergeant.
3.    Sart-up .WAV file replaced with "Cha-Ching" sound of a cash register.
2.    Didn't bother taking the Mac icon onff the start-up screen this time.
1.    Bill Gates Wealth-O-Meter spinning furiously on the Taskbar.