15. A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the
erector set, if you know what I mean.
14. Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your
head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
13. You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled
Lego bricks.
12. Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl, The
Stockboy" display.
11. You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding
the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
10. Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids
they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
9. The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not
selling.
8. Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically
correct.
7. Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs
again.
6. Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of
Geoffrey the Giraffe.
5. Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after
you jackknifed a Big Wheel.
4. Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it
was "homemade Gack."
3. Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in
Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu," was not exactly an
overwhelming success.
2. Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the
Giraffe in a leather bar.
1. Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid -- I R
on break."