Top 10 Cartoon Characters Suspected of Using Drugs
10. Gargamel (from "The Smurfs"): Most likely LSD. Spends his
life in pursuit of little blue guys in faggy white outfits and
mentally abusing his cat. What does he plan to do with the
blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?
9. Olive Oyl: Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines.
Who is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she is
always giving her burger to her friend. One side question,
what the hell are Popeye and Brutus thinking? They almost
made the list simply by courting her.
8. Snagglepuss: Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the
look, but he is suspicious.
7. He-Man: This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1.
"BY THE POWER OF ANABOL!!!" Makes me want to root for
Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the weights. And on
top of that he even injects the shit in his pet tiger. Animal
Abuse!
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5./ Yogi and Boo Boo: We all know what is really in those picnic
baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side?
Are they gay? I mean, take a look at boo boo.
4. Droopy: The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't
someone slip him an upper every year or two? The only time I
ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe.
3. Dopey Dwarf: He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny
involvement but they are under investigations. Allegations
that Doc is writing some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the
guys are partaking are afloat.
2. Daffy Duck: If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean.
He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain.
Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might be from
"daffiness" but Haldol wouldn't work for him. Might for his
buddy with Tourettes, Porky though.
1. Shaggy: By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his
bad goatee, the boy converses with dogs. But all of this is
nothing until you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who
averages 9.3 dog treats consumed per episode does pot. And
Look at the way he and his friends painted that van!