Top 5 Things NOT to Tell a Trooper that Just Pulled you Over

5.    Ask if you could inspect his tread depth.
4.    Give him Dr. Kevorkian's business card and suggest an early bird appointment.
3.    Suggest he try another mouthwash.
2.    Tell him there's a booger on his Ray Bans.

and the number uno thing not to do...

1. Ask if he's still pulling guard duty for Bill Clinton.