The Top 15 Signs the Ice Cream Truck Driver is Nuts
15. To balance the yin of Good Humor, offers the yang from frozen
Bile on a Stick.
14. Number of kills clearly marked on the side of his truck.
13. Thinks he's always "being followed by someone disguised as
little children."
12. His route takes him down your street at precisely 3:30 am
every morning.
11. Comes to work wearing only a strategically placed waffle cone.
10. All the flavors have the word "Opossum" somewhere in their
titles.
9. Happy calliope music replaced with Mozart's "Requiem."
8. Offers three flavors: Chocolate, Vanilla, and Sacred Blood of
the Martyrs.
7. Popsicles, Creamsicles, Fudgesicles -- sure. Spleensicles?
Never heard of 'em!
6. "Little Mr. Softee" always making surprise appearances.
5. Every time you get close to his truck he guns it and laughs
while yelling, "Maybe next time, Lardass!"
4. On Tuesdays, drives backwards and demands ice cream from
little kids.
3. Ice cream sandwiches come with alfalfa sprouts, dijon mustard
and a pickle.
2. "Ice cream! Get your... HEY, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! GET THE
HELL AWAY FROM MY TRUCK! ...Ice cream, get your ice cream!..."
and the Number 1 Sign the Ice Cream Truck Driver is Nuts...
1. Likes Jerry, but thinks Ben is "a real turd."