Your Starship Captain Might be a Redneck if...

1.    He calls his executive officer "Bubba"
2.    He distills his own Romulan Ale
3.    He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen
4.    He has a hand-tooled belt and holster for his phaser
5.    He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat-hanger and aluminum foil
6.    He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section, followed by a Confederate flag on said warp nacelles
7.    He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
8.    He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
9.    He paints the starship John Deere green
10.    He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
11.    He refers to Klingons as "Them critters"
12.    He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
13.    He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
14.    He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
15.    He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
16.    He says "Get your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
17.    He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
18.    He sets phaser to "Cajun"
19.    He sets the fore view screen to reruns of "Bassmasters"
20.    He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
21.    He wears mirrored shades and a cowboy hat on the Bridge
22.    His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO, Bubba, after a meal of beans and weenies
23.    His idea of dress uniform is clean bib overalls
24.    You have a shuttle called "Betty Jo"
25.    Your shuttle-craft has been up on blocks for over a month.