Captain's Log, stardate 8967.2: We are currently en route to a
previously unknown system, designated Delta Epsilon Rho. Initial
readings from Mr. Spock indicate that the third planet is Class-M
and has life. We are going to investigate.
Kirk: Mr. Spock, any more data on the planet ahead?
Spock: Yes Captain, sensors indicate that some form of technical
civilization exists, although the amount of transmitted
radio signals is lower than would be expected, judging by
the amount of artificial satellites and continental
communications lines present. It seems as if the
abilities of the inhabitants have decayed from previous
levels. Facinating.
Kirk: Keep me informed of developments. Mr. Sulu, when we get
within range, establish standard orbit and await orders.
Sulu: Aye, sir. [Kirk exits] Yawwnnn! The usual, how boring.
Spock lifts his eyebrow and makes no comment. Meanwhile, in
sickbay...
McCoy: So, Jim, what's the good word?
Kirk: The word is given...Whiskey. Pronto.
McCoy: So early in the shift? [pours two] Anything got you
down?
Kirk: Not yet, I'm only on the first one. [gulp] Talk to me
later.
McCoy: Whoa, boy. What's the with the attitude? You being
posessed by aliens again, or is this a return of your
worst half?
Kirk: Sorry, no. Its just that since we entered this system,
I get this feeling of apathy and boredom that I can't
shake. Maybe its time I retire again.
McCoy: You've got to be joking! You can't retire, you owe
Starfleet one heavy cruiser, remember? You'll be working
it off until the 24th century, ha ha ha. By then we
could be up to the NCC-1701-D! Heh, heh, sorry, Jim.
Seriously, I think its not just you. Since we got here,
various crew have been requesting stimulants and
antidepressants. I can't find the reason.
Kirk: Maybe the cause is on the planet ahead. We'll see when
we get there. Thanks for the hooch, Bones. [gulps the
rest down]
McCoy: No problem. [sips own] Lemme know if you want some
stimulants later.
Kirk: Ok, later, doctor. [Thinking: I'll go to my quarters and
try to relax.]
In Engineering, Scotty is busy fine tuning his engines or just
playing with the controls to work out his power complex, depending
on who you ask.
Engineering Technician: Mr. Scott, thats the fifth time you've
recalibrated the warp flux fields. I
believe they are at nominal levels, sir.
Scotty: Oh, and who be Chief Engineer here, laddie?
Tech: You, sir.
Scotty: Aye, and don't ye forget it! I was just checkin' the
response time and smoothness of the controls. They be
sensitive instruments, an you gotta trrrreat 'em with
care and devotion, like a good woman. You treat 'em
right, an' they never give ya any trouble.
Tech: Uh... yes, sir. [Thinking: This guy's severely due for
shore leave. Somewhere he can get his 'bairns'
overhauled.]
Later, on the bridge...
Spock: Uhura, I'm detecting a vast communication network on the
major continents of the planet. It is a vast shielded
cable network that appears to be minimally active. Can
you get any signals using inductive amplifier circuits?
Uhura: Switching now, sir...yes, I'm picking up binary codes,
the computer is trying to translate.
Spock: Interesting, it seems they are computer links. Mr.
Chekov, have you analyzed this planets level of weapons
and space technology?
Chekov: Yes, sir. Scanners detect werious abandoned spacecraft
and satellites, as well as a small orbital defense
network of primitive lasers and particle beams. Trace
radioactivity indicates that some of them are nuclear
weapon pumped X-ray lasers. Wery nasty little dewices.
None appear to be emitting signals.
Spock: A stagnated culture that stopped at Earth's late 20th
century levels. The captain will be interested, I'm
sure.
Kirk's quarters: Kirk is lying down and staring at the ceiling.
Spock: [over intercom] Captain Kirk to the bridge.
Kirk: Grrrr. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [flips open channel] Coming,
Mr. Spock.
On the bridge, the situation is explained to Kirk.
Kirk: Uhura, have you been able to tap into the datalinks yet?
Uhura: Yes, Captain. They were using an obscure old Earth
binary coding called Ascii. The odds that they could
have developed it on their own are staggering, as I'm
sure Mr. Spock can verify.
Spock: She's quite right, Captain. I theorize that this is a
long lost Earth colony or another of the Preserver's
transplanted Earth cultures, although I wasn't aware that
they still existed in the late 20th century.
Kirk: What kind of traffic are you getting, Uhura?
Uhura: Well, sir, its kind of strange. The people down there
are using the computer links mostly to talk to each other
and discuss various subjects of interest. Voice
communications are available there, but they are not used
much. They seem to like communicating excusively by
characters on a datascreen. Even so, very few links seem
to be initiating communications, most just seem to be on
and just receiving data.
Kirk: How strange. What is their civilization like, Spock?
Spock: Aside from the network in question, the rest of their
technological base seems stagnant and barely self
supportive. No major construction going on, no large
clusters of population, a few agricultural stations and
not much else. No reason for the decay is yet evident,
I suggest we use the network in question to ask some of
the inhabitants about it. We would be anonymous, of
course, being isolated by the net.
Kirk: Alright, Mr. Spock. Assemble your team and we'll beam
down to one of the unused terminals. Dress in typical
fashion and don't forget to hide those ears!
Spock: Of course, sir. [Thinking: Odd, I seem to be feeling
some hostility towards Jim for needlessly reminding me of
something I know so well --- my ears. That is not
normal, I must control.]
Location: The surface, a typical Earth-like environment, with 20th
century style buildings, trees, aphsalt covered roads,etc. An
occasional rusty motorcar putts on by. The air hums as 5 shapes
resolve into view. Kirk, Spock, an unknown historian and two
mandatory, expendable security types appear. The anonymous red-shirts fan out and look around. They are wearing jeans,
windbreakers (red, of course) and t-shirts. Kirk has decided to be
debonaire and is dressed in black corduroys and a silver racing
jacket that those cool dudes who smoke camels wear. Spock seems
ill at ease in dark slacks, tan jacket with patches, black
turtleneck and ski band, the subtle suggestions of the historian,
who giggled but approved guiltily. The historian, a small woman by
the name of Kate Norris, is in jeans and a green sweater. They
really look strange, as their tricorders and equipment stick out,
but Norris has a large purse to hide them in if needed.
Spock: The building is just ahead, there are no people around
for 0.5 kilometers in any direction.
Kirk: Lead on, Spock. Come gentlemen, we appear to be alone
here.
They proceed to a shabby room full of small terminal screens, Spock
activates one, saying "How primitive." On the CRT, no characters
appear. The historian suggests to hit the CR, and a cursor
appears, followed by the text: "Welcome to the BITNET port
selector, please login or type 'help' for more info:" Spock types
help, remembers to hit CR, and reads the help available, including
"guest user accounts". Further investigation reveals he can login
as a guest user and he does so. He records all of the system
documentation as it scrolls with the tricorder.
Spock: I believe we may begin interfacing this "Bitnet,
Captain."
What will they do? Stay tuned for part 2...
When we last looked in on things, Mr. Spock was linked into a node
of Bitnet on a strange, decaying world.
Spock: I beleive I can access this network's list of users in
the region, Captain.
Kirk: Good, lets see who we're talking to. Ms. Norris, have
you got anything more about this culture?"
Norris: Yes, Captain, it seems like something out of late 20th
century Earth, North America. The only difference is
that it appears to be stagnant; stopped in development.
Kirk: I see. Well, we can't tell how many people will come by
here while Mr. Spock is working. Security, take
positions by the doors and alert us if anyone approaches.
Redshirt #1: Aye, sir.
The security guys stake out the doors, Spock is engaged in trying
to find out how the network functions, recording all of the
relevant data via tricorder. After a few minutes of expert
familiarization, Spock announces he can make contact with a number
of the local users. He proceeds.
Spock: I believe I am now able to communicate with some entity
called 'Hack' at a node some 90 km away. I will say
hello as a beginning.
Kirk: Excellent, Mr. Spock.
On the screen in front of Spock...
Guest@node3: Hello, Hack, are you free to talk?
Hack@node1: Yo, guest, who are you? We don't usually get too
many new people.
Guest@node3: I am a traveler to this area. Can you give me any
information on this network of yours? I have not
ever accessed it before.
Hack@node1: Never? You must come from remote city, dude. Most
people, even the back-to-nature farmers have to
interface to conduct business once in awhile.
Well, this here cluster of nodes was established 5
years after the Trip, about 14 years ago. I was
one of the original users, before we left Earth.
Kirk: Earth?! How can that be, Spock? These people couldn't
have left 19 years ago.
Spock: Facinating. I speculate that quite a bit of time
dilation must have occured during their "Trip", else
instantaneous time travel. I will attempt to get more
detail.
Back on the Screen:
Guest@node3: One of the original users? Tell me about the Trip
from your point of view, it would be most
interesting.
Hack@node1: Ok, greenie. You know the basics, how most of us
original users were just netting away back on Earth
when the signals came from the aliens that tapped
into the net. Well, I was sittin' up around 2:00
am one night, talking with a buddy in Maine, when,
netwide, transmissions started comin' in from
someone asking questions about life on Earth. We
thought it was a gag until someone who had a radio
said there were reports of UFO's in the northern
hemisphere. They asked us if were representative
of our subculture. We weren't sure what that was,
but some fools said yes. Bam!! Next thing we
know, we're in some big place in capsules of some
kind. A big voice told us not to panic, that we
were being put somewhere far away in space/time to
preserve our culture, and we would be given
everything we need to survive. Not too many of us
were too thrilled, but we couldn't do anything
about it. We touched down on this world, and we
find a replica of the things we left, down to the
cars, boats planes, etc. Everything we needed to
grow food, generate power and an installed system
of networks. Unfortunately, they duplicated VAX's
as the computer, a real slow and quite poor class
of machines. For awhile it was fun, discovering
new places, meeting all these people, you know.
Then it got dull: Nobody wanted to do anything
anymore. Things just got put off and slowed down
until our present state of affairs. You a reporter
or something? Nobody's bothered to write an
electric newspaper for a few years.
Guest@node3: You might say I'm a reporter of these events. Some
of the people I met say there is a system of
satellites up there that are duplicates of the
Earth ones of the time. Do you know anything about
them?
Hack@node1: Oh, yeah, when we first got here we tracked 'em and
tried to id them. We do use some of them for
planetwide link cover...hey, you should know that!
Who are you? You can't be from here. Are you
from... out there?
Spock: Captain, I believe answering his question would violate
the prime directive. If this is an example of the
Preservers transplanting a culture, we should leave at
once.
Kirk: Dr. Norris, any comments?
Norris: Yes, Captain, it seems we have an unprecedented chance to
see 20th century culture in action. We should go back to
the Enterprise and contact Starfleet.
Kirk: Alright, we'll wrap it up here. Spock, end communication
and rig a setup so we can activate this terminal from
orbit.
Spock: Yes, Captain, although I would ask them one more
question.
Kirk: Granted.
Guest@node3: I can't answer that, but I would like to ask just
how and when people here started to be apathetic
and let the civilization stagnate.
Hack@node1: I see...hmmm...OK. About eight years ago there
was a shutdown of the networks. They were put back
online in a few weeks, but by then people found
better things to do with their time. There are
very few of us linked in all the time now. Most
just use it to send mail and do business meetings
on short notice. I don't think we are stagnant,
just in a "lull." The only new thing here is some
static on the lines that comes in once in awhile to
mess with data transfer, no big deal.
Guest@node3: Thank you, Hack. I regret I must end this
communication at this time. Maybe soon we will
re-establish. Farewell.
Hack@node1: Your welcome, but WAIT...who are you? Where are
you from? Its important...don't log off!
Pleeeeessssssssee!!!
Spock: Transmission closed, Captain.
Kirk: [to communicator] Scotty, five to beam up. [to
redshirts] Gentlemen, its time to go.
They beam back up, and Kirk holds a staff meeting.
Kirk: You have our report. Comments?
Scotty: Aye, Capt'n. I think there might be somethin' to their
lack of motivation that's contagious. Everyone on the
ship seem to have a shortage of get-up-n-go.
McCoy: He's right, Jim. Rampant apathy, boredom, and overall
sloppyness is evident in the crew, I can't find the
cause, and it really bums me out.
Spock: [looking strangely at McCoy] I have noticed such feelings
as well. I believe we may do well to analyze the
"static" that the person mentioned, it could have a
cause.
Kirk: Alright, Spock. [to console] Bridge, Kirk here. Do a
full radiation sweep with sensors. E&M, tachyon,
neutrino, the whole spectrum.
Chekov: [on bridge] Aye, sir. Very good, sir. [mutter, grumble]
Kirk: [looking at console] I hope we find something out soon,
I think we could have a mutiny on our hands [chuckle].
On the bridge a few minutes later, Spock still in his Sagan
guise...
Spock: Sensor scans indicate radiation of an unknown type coming
from a satellite in orbit about the planet. The
materials it is made of are not consistent with the
technology of the inhabitants below.
Kirk: Helm, move in on it...slowly. Chekov, raise shields.
Scotty, get ready down there to use tractors. Move it,
people!
[A general but grumbling acknowledgement comes from the crew.]
When they get within a few hundred km of it, a voice comes over the
ship's speakers:
Voice: Leave at once! This planet is under the protection of
the Preser Preser Preservrrwss...<crackle>
Spock: It appears that this beacon is only marginally
functional, Captain.
The ship gets rocked by a beam of energy from the satellite. The
usual phoney shifts to the left and right with sounds, etc...
Kirk: Functional enough, Spock. Checkov, fire phasers!
Chekov: Aye! At last something to do! [fires]
The satellite's shields are not affected much, another blast comes,
knocking their shields down 10%.
Spock: Beam analysis indicates anti-protons. We cannot take
much more of this, sir. The shields on that satellite
are not damaged much, but the resultant waves that it is
emitting give me an idea.
Kirk: What, Spock? We haven't got much time.
Spock: It seems that their shields are transparent to photons up
to 100keV in energy. That implies if we use some low
powered photons we should be able to infiltrate their
shields. I might suggest re-programming the X-ray
battlestations located on the planets surface to generate
just such a charge.
Kirk: Excellent!
Spock: However, there may be a slight problem.
Kirk: Oh? What would that be?
Spock: The resultant nuclear detonations would disable the
planet's network. They would be out of power for some
time.
Kirk: I'll take responsibility, get cracking on those codes.
How will the Netters cope without a Net? Will the fearless crew of
the enterprise succeed? Does anyone out there care? Stay tuned...
In this harrowing conclusion to our story, the crew of the
Enterprise is about to attack a malfunctioning defensive satellite
left by the preservers over a planet where they left a 20th century
Earth subculture...the computer net hackers.
Uhura: The x-ray battlestations are replicas of old US/USSR
models of the 1900's, sir. Technical schematics are
being given to Mr. Spock from the records archives.
Kirk: Outstanding, Uhura, take a bonus out of petty cash
[wink].
Spock: I believe that if we target a dozen of these on the
satellite and activate them simultaneously with a full
phaser barrage, the resultant harmonic schockwaves with
destroy the preserver artifact, or diable it at least.
Kirk: Get to it, then. [to chair console] Mr. Scott, prepare to
channel all reserve engine power to the phasers on
command.
Scott: [from engine room] Aye, sir. [Mumbling] G'dmn taskmst'r
he is.
Kirk: What was that, Scotty?
Scott: Uh...just gimme the word, Capt'n.
Kirk: Right, Kirk out. [to Spock] Those energy vibrations are
getting more on people's nerves.
Spock: Apparently. I would like to give the inhabitants some
warning if possible. We now can link in from the bridge.
Kirk: Alright. Two minutes.
Spock: Thank you. Uhura, patch the science keyboard to the link
on the planet.
Uhura: Sigh...alright, Mr. Spock. Your online.
Hack@node1: Guest!!! You're back! What's happening? I talked
some buddies into activating the radar, we're
picking up some big things in orbit...yours?
Guest@node3: Partly. I just wanted to give your people some
advanced warning.
Hack@node1: Warning? About what?
Guest@node3: The beings that put you here left a monitoring
satellite equipped with emotion sensitive
analyzers. We believe that the lull in your
culture is due to its malfunction. The satellite
is attacking us, and we have to stop it.
Unfortunately, to do so requires sacraficing a few
of your orbiting x-ray laser stations that were
made along with your communication satellites.
Hack@node1: Laser stations? We theorized thats what they were,
we never could access them from here. Sure, use
all of 'em if you want, we don't need 'em.
Guest@node3: I don't think you understand the magnitude of the
situation. The lasers are nuclear triggered. The
resultant electromagnetic pulse will short out and
shut down all electronics and electrical equipment
in your region. I estimate it would take a
dedicated 30% of your population approximately 6
months to repair and restore the systems.
Hack@node1: Wow. That's gonna suck. I don't think we could
mobilize 3% of our population, let alone 30%.
They're just not motivated.
Guest@node3: Once the alien satellite is destroyed, the static
you have noticed will be destroyed as well. It is
that static, we believe, that is responsible for
the apathetic condition of many of your people.
Hack@node1: Not looking forward to it, but thanks for the
warning. Still don't want to tell us who you are,
huh?
Guest@node3: Sorry, it would be in violation of our code of
ethics to tell you. We really shouldn't even have
done as much as we have, but our leader is known
for his...ethical reinterpretations. Good bye and
good luck.
Hack@node1: Thanx, we'll need it. Arrivaderche.
Kirk: [reading over Spock's shoulder] Ethical
reinterpretations?
Spock: I apologize, captain. It seems that I too am affected by
the proximity of the artifact. No offense intended.
Kirk: Accepted. Mr. Chekov, full shields, ready phasers. Mr.
Sulu, come around and head back to the satellite, quarter
impulse power.
Sulu and Chekov: Aye.
Kirk: Spock, status of the battlestations?
Spock: Am entering codes and re-aligning ten satellites on the
Preserver artifact. Estimate one minute until all locked
on.
Scott: [over intercom] Ahm ready wi' all the energy Ah can spare
for the phasers, capt'n.
Kirk: Acknowleged. [mumbling] Alcoholic presbyterian.
Spock: [with sensitive hearing] Mr. Scott is neither alcoholic
nor religious, captain. Your statment I will assume is
due to the influence of the emissions ahead.
Kirk: Uh... yes, Mr. Spock, you're right. Let's take care of
business.
In low orbit, the last of the satellites slowly turns outward from
the planet. Casual observers may note that the logos "NOAA" and
"NASA" are covering the hull, implying to any eyes that it is a
weather satellite. Similar logos in Russian adorn half of the
battlestations, going to show you don't have to be a weatherman to
know where the wind blows. Sorry, bad Dylan pun.
Kirk: On my mark, Chekov. Spock?
Spock: Ready captain, all stations reprogrammed.
Kirk: Alright, lets go. Sulu, maneuver us away from the
direction of the battlestation's fire. Close in slowly.
Sulu: Aye, sir, executing. Tora! Tora! Tora!
Kirk: What?
Sulu: Sorry, sir, I've been feeling strange all day.
Kirk: Noted. Chekov---long duration phaser strike, get ready
Spock....... NOW!!!
Neat, high $$$$$ special effects. Phasers pelt the shields of the
alien artifact, causing rippling vibes in them. Spock detonates 10
high yield bombs, beams of super intense radiation hit the shields
and pass through in a blazing flash. Good thing the Federation
puts polarizing shields on their windows, eh? Too bad that all the
locals who were unfortunate enough to look up are retina fried or
temporarily blind, oh well, its for a good cause, right Kirk? The
satellite frys, and the Enterprise stops firing.
Spock: No electrical activity in the wreckage, captain. I
suggest we collect it for further analysis, preserver
technology would be quite a find. [Thinking of the papers
he could write, etc.]
Kirk: Alright. Scotty, tractor the wrekage into the bay for
Mr. Spock.
Scott: [from engineering] Aye, sir, it'll be my pleasure.
Spock: As predicted, most of the systems on this side of the
planet are shorted out, sir. No more communication is
possible with the inhabitants.
Kirk: Have you theorized how the Preservers could even exist
only 300 years ago, or how they could transport 20th
century people into the future, lightyears away?
Spock: We don't have much data to go on. I did, however, manage
to download their net's archived files into our
computers. Ms. Norris, our historian, should have plenty
of cultural data to look through. I see also, that the
emotional state of the crew seems back to normal.
Kirk: [looking around at a happy crew] Yes, it is well. Sulu,
set course for starbase 19, warp factor 6.
Sulu: Aye,sir.
Shot of NCC 1701-A going to warp speed, really nice. Those guys
at ILM sure earn their $$$$$. Focus in on space in a higher orbit
around the planet. A shimmmering starfield dissolves to show a
small spacecraft that looks more like air transport than space.
Getting closer, you see two people in the cockpit.
Deety: Wasn't that great?! I'm really glad we found the Star
Trek universe.
Zeb: Yes, so far this is the 3rd variant universe. It was
your idea to snatch those hackers away from Universe 3,
[Neil Armstrong 1], though. They really weren't doing
much for their society anyway. Kirk reacted just like
you thought he would.
Deety: It really was entertaining. I hope Daddy doesn't find
out, though. He's such a stickler for synchronicity. He
won't find out, will he, Gay?
Gay Deceiver: [the ship] Not from me, Deety. I'm having fun,
too.
Zeb: Alright, who's next? Klingons? Romulans?
Gay: Hey guys, how about we drop downtime about 80 years or
so? I'd really like to get it on with that android Data.
From the tapes I've seen, he's looking for someone to
overhaul his systems.
Deety: Oh, Gay, you horny girl. I like it. [summoning her best
English accent] Make it so! <giggle>.
The small ship blinks out of space and into time. They just can't
pass up a good universe. Tsk tsk.