How many people in"Star Trek: The Next Generation"does it take to screw a lightbulb?


     A light bulb burns out on the bridge...

Riker:    Geordi! What the hell is going on?!?
Picard:    Someone remove the lightbulb. Conference!

In the Conference room:
Troi:    (Putting her hand on the dead bulb.) I feel...pain.
Worf:    The bulb is useless now, Captain. Let me dispose of it. (Unholsters phaser and adjusts it to "OBLITERATE" setting.)
Data:    (Thinking about what Worf said:) Captain, if I were to become non-functional like this bulb, would I receive a regular burial or would I be disposed of like...
Picard:    Oh Shut up, Data. Hold your fire, Mr. Worf. Where is Mr. LaForge?
Geordi:    (Stepping into the room.) Here, Captain. I'm afraid we're out of light bulbs. Who needs light anyway? With my VISOR, I can clearly see despite the absence of visible light.
Beverly:    I can surgically remove everyone's eyes and outfit us all with VISORs...
Wesley:    No way, Mom. Wait! I got it! I'll build us a positronic kreiger-wave-condensing incandescent light generator!
Riker:    Excellent, Wes. By the way, what the hell are you doing in this meeting? This is for senior officers only! Worf, put Ensign Crusher in the brig!
Worf:    (To Wesley, grinning.) You will walk or I will carry you!
Beverly:    You're not touching my son!

     Everyone lurches. Outside, two Borg ships begin attacking the Enterprise. Everyone rushes to the bridge. Q suddenly appears on the bridge in a flash of light.
Q:        Oh...Sorry! (Snaps fingers again--bulb is restored.) Until next time! (A Flash of light and Q disappears.)
Picard:    (Hands restored bulb to Wesley.) Mr. Crusher, prepare to screw in the light bulb.
Wesley:    Aye, Captain. (Holds bulb in position over bulb socket.)

(Answer: Nine.)