The Women's Rules

1.    The Female Always makes The Rules.
2.    The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3.    No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4.    If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5.    The Female is NEVER wrong.
6.    If the Female is WRONG, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.
7.    If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8.    The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9.    The Male must NEVER change his mind without Express Written Consent from the Female.
10.    The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11.    The Male must remain calm at ALL times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12.    The Female must not, under any circumstances, let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13.    Any attempt to document these rules could result in Bodily Harm.
14.    The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
15.    If the Female has PMS, all Rules are Null and Void (but the Male will not be told which rules these are).
16.    The Female is ready when she is ready.
17.    The Male must be ready at all times.
18.    The Male who doesn't abide by the Rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone and is a wimp.