The Stress Management Diet


     This diet has been designed specifically for men and women who must deal with stress in their daily lives. It consists of carefully balanced meals, whose calorie and nutrient values will enable you to successfully diet while maintaining energy levels necessary to deal with your daily stress.

Breakfast

1/2 Grapefruit, seeded
1 Slice Whole Wheat Bread, dry
3 oz. Skim Milk

Lunch

4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast, skinned
1 c. Steamed Spinach
1 c. Herb Tea
1 Oreo Cookie

Mid-Afternoon Stress Snack

Rest of Oreos in Package
2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce
Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream

Dinner

2 Loaves Garlic Bread
Large Sausage, Mushroom, and Cheese Pizza
3 Milky Way Candy Bars

Late-Evening Super Stress-Day Snack

1 Frozen Cheesecake, eaten directly from Freezer

RULES FOR THE STRESS DIET

1.    If you eat something and nobody sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2.    If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda
3.    When you eat with somebody else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
4.    Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5.    If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.
6.    Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. This includes Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.
7.    Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8.    Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
9.    Foods of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate.

NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.