Best Rum Cake Ever!


1 or 2 Quarts Rum
1 Cup Butter
1 Teaspoon Sugar
2 Large Eggs
2 Cup Dried Fruit
Baking Powder
1 Teaspoon Soda
Lemon Juice
Brown Sugar
Nuts

     Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the Rum again. It must be just right. To be sure Rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of Rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
     With an electric mixer beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the Rum is of finest quality. Try another cup. Open second quart, if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Rum again, checking for tonscisticity. Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter.) Sample the Rum again. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chipped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find. Wix mel. Grease over and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the Rum again and bo to ged.