How to be: The Name-Man! The Name-Ster! The Name-Meister!

1.    Draw the name out the way Richard does: Turn "Tom," for example, into "Tommmmmmmmm." It also helps to drop your voice about an octave, talk through pursed lips and in a sing-song way and tilt your head to the side every once in a while for that ironic quality.
2.    Rhyme the name. "Tina" becomes "Tina-nina." Better yet, singer Sting becomes "Sting-a-ling-a-ding-dong."
3.    Make it Teutonic by adding "-meister," "--heimer" or "-hoffer" to the end of the name. These combos particularly take to the addition of "the" or "von" before the name.
4.    Try other all-purpose endings, such as "-o," "-ola," "-erino," "-ski," "-tella," and the ever-popular "-man."
5.    Make the name part of someone else's name. On the most recent sketch, for example, "Drew" became "Franklin Droosevelt" and "Drubik's Cube."
6.    Make use of titles such as "Senior" or "Mademoiselle" or "Baron," with appropriate accents and endings.
7.    And don't forget "mc-" before any name - even if it's not "Donald" or "Namara".
8.    For a couple, add "-ster" to the end of the man's name and "-stress" to the end of the woman's name - turning Steve and Sandy into "The Steve-ster" and "The Sand-stress."
9.    With long names, try dropping the last syllable or two before adding your choice of endings. "Randy," for example, works better as "Rand."
10.    Don't despair because some names seem to resist additions. When Donna comes by, say, "Donna, wanna make some copies," or "Señorita Donnita."
11.    But what do you do with a name like, say, General Schwarzkopf? In cases such as this, you have to take something they've done and play with it - and, remember, intonation is everything. Mr. Richard suggests: "General Schwarzkopf, taking out the Iraqis, the Iraq-olas...."