1. Find and use the dining car on the Metro.
2. Single women should not miss Dupont Circle, where you will
find many good-looking unmarried men.
3. Help keep the nation's capital clean: After entering the
Metro through the turnstile, deposit your used fare card in
the trash.
4. Don't miss the weekly weenie roasts at the Eternal Flame.
5. The best way to get to DC is to take the Capitol Beltway until
you hit the Capitol.
6. When taking a taxi, ask to see as many "zones" as possible.
This is a delightful way to see the city.
7. There's free parking for Ryder rental trucks next to the FBI
Building.
8. If you get thirsty while walking around town, stop in the
Mayor's office or residence and ask for some Coke.
9. In all Metro stations, be sure to stop immediately at the top
or bottom of each escalator and take a roll call of everyone
in your party before proceeding.
10. If the cab doesn't have a meter, you ride for free.
11. Make sure to visit the 19th century French Impressionist
"Scratch & Sniff" room at the National Gallery of Art.
12. Give your dear, departed Fido or Tabby a suitable resting
place at the Arlington National Cemetery-bring your own
shovel.
13. If you miss your exit on the Beltway, don't worry. Remember,
it's a circle, so just keep going around and before you know
it you'll be back at your desired exit!
14. Flashing floor lights in the Metro signal an oncoming
earthquake. Run for your life!
15. Cheering is encouraged during oral arguments at the Supreme
Court.
16. For best results, crinkle up your dollar bills real good to
"soften" them up before using the Metro card machines.