A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but
it's very funny--Did you ever try buying then without money?
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people
who haven't what they want that they don't want it.
The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's
always a cat!
Daddy
I have a funny daddy
Who goes in and out with me
And everything that baby does
Daddy's sure to see
And everything that baby says,
My daddy's sure to tell.
You must have read my daddy's verse.
I hope he fries in Hell.
Reflections on Ice-Breaking
Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
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Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
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I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.
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The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.
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Love is a word that is constantly heard,
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And Love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But Hating, my boy, is an Art.