Rich Hall

from Sniglets

Aquadextrous, adj.: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.: The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Cinemuck, n.: The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters.

Genderplex, n.: The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).

Krogt, n. (chemical symbol: Kr): The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.

Lactomangulation, n.: Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.

Magnocartic, adj.: Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.

Slurm, n.: The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.

Snacktrek, n.: The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

Spirtle, n.: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.

Yinkel, n.: A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice.