As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably
because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for
it.
[From "Without Feathers"] If only God would give me some clear
sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly
not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be
there when it happens.
More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads.
One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to
total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose
correctly.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty
experiences go, it's one of the best.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf
won't get much sleep.
To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
[From "Without Feathers"] What if everything is an illusion and
nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
[From "Without Feathers"] What if nothing exists and we're all in
somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in
the third row exists?
When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I
looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
[From "Without Feathers"] Why does man kill? He kills for food.
And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
[From "Sleeper"] Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be
President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would
count the silverware.