The Revised Lord's Prayer

by The Reverend Kenneth Scott

From Toronto Globe & Mail, 15 November 1986

Our universal chairperson in outer space
Your identity enjoys the highest rating
On a prioritized selectivity scale
May your sphere of influence
Take on reality parameters,
May your mindset be implemented
On this planet as in outer space.
Allot to us, at this point in time and
On a per diem basis, a sufficient
And balanced dietary food intake,
And rationalize a disclaimer
Against our negative feedback
As we rationalize a disclaimer
Against the negative feedback of others
And deprogram our negative potentialities,
But desensitize the impact
Of the counter-productive force
For yours is the dominant sphere of influence
The ultimate capability (non-nuclear)
And the highest qualitative analysis rating
At this point in time
And extending beyond a limited time-frame
End of message.