Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
Soon she got tired of her purple-headed friend,
and tossed him out the window as she rounded out a bend.
Curve that is, Tossed the nub. In the schrub.
When she went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
They called out the hounds for to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "Over there"
To John Wayne's Henry that was wavin' in the air.
Found that is. By a fence. Evidence.
Now Peter and his John couldn't stay apart too long,
So the dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix that dong!"
"A needle and some thread is all we gonna need"
And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny peed.
Whizzed that is. Even seam. Straight stream.
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a half-assed lawyer 'cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.
Video that is. Unexposed. Case closed.
Y'all sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?