You Know Your Addicted to the Internet When...
1. All of your friends have an @ in their names.
2. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster
connection to the net: 28.8... ISDN... cable modem... T1...
T3.
3. As your car crashed through the guardrail on a mountain road,
your first instinct was to search for the "back" button.
4. Looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all
of them are already highlighted in purple.
5. You actually try that 123.elm.street address.
6. You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search
engines useless.
7. You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
8. You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is
allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."
9. You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts
illuminated only by a 17" inch svga monitor.
10. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and
mouse.
11. You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.
12. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So You check
it again.
13. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two,
just for the free Internet access.
14. You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are,
because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to
ask.
15. You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a
cellular modem and a laptop.
16. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
17. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using
a word processor.com
18. You forget what year it is.
19. You get a tatoo that reads, "This body best viewed with
Netscape Navigator x.x or higher."
20. You have comandeered your son's phone line for the Net and
even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.
21. You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
22. You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because You
think it sounds like the ocean wind... the perfect soundtrack
for "surfing the net."
23. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before You
landscape.
24. You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.
25. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your
ISP... because You never log off.
26. You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no
idea where your son is.
27. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
28. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no
phone lines.
29. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your
lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.
30. You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
31. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
32. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
33. You tell the cab driver you live at
http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
34. You tell your kid he can't use the computer because you have
work to do and you don't even have a job.
35. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like
you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
36. You turn on your computer and turn off your significant other.
37. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can
hear if new e-mail arrives.
38. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check
your e-mail on the way back to bed.
39. You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're
halfway through Lycos.
40. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
41. Your significant other makes a new rule: "The computer cannot
come to bed."
42. Your significant other says communication is important in a
relationship... so you buy another computer and install a
second phone line so the two of us can chat.
43. Your pet has its own home page.
44. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
45. Your friends no longer send you e-mail... they just log on to
your IRC channel.
46. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours.
You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial
your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with
the modem... and you succeed.
47. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.