You May be an Engineer If...


1.    Dilbert is your hero.
2.    A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception.
3.    At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
4.    People groan at the party when you pick out the music.
5.    People hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time.
6.    The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it.
7.    The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
8.    The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
9.    The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind.
10.    You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud.
11.    You are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment.
12.    You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor.
13.    You can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
14.    You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
15.    You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
16.    You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
17.    You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
18.    You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
19.    You did the sound system for your senior prom.
20.    You don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
21.    You ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
22.    You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
23.    You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
24.    You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
25.    You have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage.
26.    You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.
27.    You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is."
28.    You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
29.    You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.
30.    You have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
31.    You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
32.    You have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
33.    You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
34.    You have more toys than your kids.
35.    You have never backed-up your hard drive.
36.    You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
37.    You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife."
38.    You know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use.
39.    You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
40.    You know what http: stands for.
41.    You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
42.    You need a checklist to turn on the TV
43.    You own "Official Star Trek" anything.
44.    You own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are
45.    You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
46.    You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
47.    You see a good design and still have to change it.
48.    You spend more on your computer than your car.
49.    You stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
50.    You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
51.    You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
52.    You think your computer looks better without the cover.
53.    You thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid.
54.    You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers.
55.    You truly believe aliens are living among us.
56.    You use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car.
57.    You want an 8X CD-ROM for Christmas.
58.    You window shop at Radio Shack
59.    You've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
60.    Your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate
61.    Your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.
62.    Your checkbook always balances.
63.    Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal.
64.    Your favorite part of the 6 o'clock news is comparing their latest satellite weather picture with yours.
65.    Your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her.
66.    Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
67.    Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
68.    Your lap-top computer costs more than your car.
69.    Your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
70.    Your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
71.    Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.
72.    Your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre.
73.    Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
74.    Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.