What, exactly, is marriage?
How does a person decide whom to marry?
"My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That's what I'll
do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome."
What is the proper age to get married?
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!"
What do most people do on a date?
"Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about
love."
Concerning why love happens between two particular people:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do
with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so
popular."
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something,
but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
On what falling in love is like:
On the role of beauty and handsomeness in love:
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like
anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.
Reflections on the nature of love:
How do people in love typically behave?
"When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and
they don't get up for at least an hour."
"All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit
together in the dark."
Confidential opinions about love:
"Love is foolish... but I still might try it sometime."
"Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place... We were behind a
tree."
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I
been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep
finding me."
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard
enough."
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you
have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."
Some sure fire ways to make a person fall in love with you:
"Shake your hips and hope for the best."
"Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs... and don't
worry if their parents are right there."
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get
attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something
she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me."
What most people are thinking when they say, "I love you":
"Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they
finally got it out and said it and now they can go eat."
How was kissing invented?
How a person learns to kiss:
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the
best of you."
"It might help to watch soap operas all day."
When is it okay to kiss someone?
"If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a new
person, you have to ask permission."
"I look at kissing like this: Kissing is fine if you like it, but
it's a free country and nobody should be forced to do it."
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy
her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of
the wedding."
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing
thing if anybody sees you. If nobody sees you, I might be willing
to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."
The Great Debate: Is it better to be single or married?
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid.
I don't need that kind of trouble."
How to make love endure:
"Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love."
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never
take out the trash."
"Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn't
like picking what movie you want to watch."
Concerning why lovers often hold hands:
How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get
cold. Other people care more about the food."
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire.
They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts
are... on fire."
"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give
her back to her parents!"
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails
means you try the next one."
"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore,
and you can spend all your time loving each other."
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who
has freckles too."
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't
want to do it. It takes too long."
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your
family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is
pretty good too."
"Mooshy... like puppy dogs... except puppy dogs don't wag their
tails nearly as much."
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'Dinosaurs'
is on TV."
The personal qualities you need to have in order to be a good
lover:
"Sensitivity don't hurt."
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores."
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope
he showers at least once a day."
"I know one reason that kissing was created. It makes you feel
warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or
fireplaces or even stoves in their houses."
"You can have a big rehearsal with your Barbie and Ken dolls."
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you.
That's why I stopped doing it."
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
somebody to clean up after them!"
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work."
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they
paid good money for them."
love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell
if he's in love."