1. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign
fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
2. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put
them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the
mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the
right side.
3. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly
envelope to your half destroyed form.
4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use a two or
three party check. On top of paying with a three party check,
pay one dollar in cash. No matter how small the amount, the
extractor has to take any cash received over to another
special desk and fill out a few nasty forms.
5. Line the bottom of the envelope with glue and let it dry
before putting the forms in. The automate opener doesn't open
it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
6. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the
right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way
they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork
and restaple it (on the left side).
7. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be
verified and then date stamped.
8. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if it's only
a 1040EZ). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted
differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus
to the big envelope is that they take priority over other
mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
9. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received
has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what
it's on.
10. Write your letter on something misshapen or unconventional,
like the back of a grocery bag.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do
with the IRS. These are only recommended when you owe money.