Epitaphs from Real Tombstones

1. On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
   Here lies
   Ezekial Aikle
   Age 102
   The Good
   Die Young
2. In a London, England cemetery:
   Ann Mann
   Here lies Ann Mann,
   Who lived an old maid
   But died an old Mann
   Dec. 8, 1767
3. In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
   Anna Wallace
   The children of Israel wanted bread
   And the Lord sent them manna,
   Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
   And the Devil sent him Anna
4. Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
   Here lies
   Johnny Yeast
   Pardon me
   For not rising
5. Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
   Here lies the body
   of Jonathan Blake
   Stepped on the gas
   Instead of the brake
6. In Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
   Here lays Butch,
   We planted him raw.
   He was quick on the trigger,
   But slow on the draw.
7. A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
   Sacred to the memory of
   my husband John Barnes
   who died January 3, 1803
   His comely young widow, aged 23,
   has many qualifications of a good wife,
   and yearns to be comforted.
8. A lawyer's epitaph in England:
   Sir John Strange
   Here lies an honest lawyer,
   And that is Strange
9. Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
   I was somebody.
   Who, is no business
   Of yours.
10. Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
    Here lies Lester Moore
    Four slugs from a .44
    No Less No More.
11. In a Georgia cemetery:
    "I told you I was sick!"
12. John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
    Reader if cash thou art
    In want of any
    Dig 4 feet deep
    And thou wilt find a Penny.
13. On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
    She always said her feet were killing her
    but nobody believed her.
14. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
    On the 22nd of June
    Jonathan Fiddle -
    Went out of tune.
15. Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
    Here lies the body of our Anna
    Done to death by a banana
    It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
    But the skin of the thing that made her go.
16. More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
    Gone away
    Owin' more
    Than he could pay.
17. Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
    In Memory of Beza Wood
    Departed this life
    Nov. 2, 1837
    Aged 45 yrs.
    Here lies one Wood
    Enclosed in wood
    One Wood
    Within another.
    The outer wood
    Is very good:
    We cannot praise
    The other.
18. On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
    Under the sod and under the trees
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod:
    Pease shelled out and went to God.
19. The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
    Who was fatally burned
    March 21, 1870
    by the explosion of a lamp
    filled with "R. E. Danforth's
    Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
20. Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903--Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
    the car was on the way down. It was.
21. In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up
    And no place to go.