Real Engineers

Real Engineers:
1.    Briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of Quantum Physics, and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
2.    Buy their spouses a set of matched screw-drivers for their birthday.
3.    Consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
4.    Don't find this list at all funny.
5.    Give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
6.    Have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
7.    Know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
8.    Know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own shirt size.
9.    Politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
10.    Repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
11.    Rotate their tires for laughs.
12.    Say, "It's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin" and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day!"
13.    Think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
14.    Wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying, "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car".
15.    Wear moustaches or beards for "Efficiency." Not because they're lazy.
16.    Will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.