A Cowboy's Guide to Life

1.    After eating an entire bull, a mountian lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
2.    Always drink upstream from the herd.
3.    Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's you who might need to know what it was.
4.    Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
5.    Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
6.    If you find yourself in a hole, the first think to do is stop diggin'.
7.    If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
8.    If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
9.    It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
10.    Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
11.    Never ask a man the size of his spread (and I don't recommend askin' a lady the same question).
12.    Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
13.    Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
14.    Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
15.    The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
16.    There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
17.    When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
18.    When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

The Moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.