Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Corporate America


1.    Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
2.    Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
3.    Every time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
4.    Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
5.    Everything that comes around that goes around, but some things are thrown right back.
6.    Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
7.    Following the rules will not get the job done.
8.    Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
9.    Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
10.    Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
11.    I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
12.    If it's not a problem today, wait, it will be soon.
13.    If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
14.    If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
15.    Indecision is the key to flexibility.
16.    Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
17.    No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
18.    No one is listening until you make a mistake.
19.    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
20.    Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
21.    One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
22.    People don't make the same mistake twice -- they make it three, four, and five times.
23.    Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
24.    Sometimes too much to drink is not nearly enough.
25.    Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
26.    Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
27.    The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
28.    The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
29.    The more things/processes change, the more they are the same.
30.    The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
31.    The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself project.
32.    There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
33.    There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
34.    Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
35.    This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
36.    To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
37.    You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.