Explanations Why Programmers Programs Don't Work

1. Did you check for a virus on your system?
2. Didn't I fix it already?
3. Even though it does not work, how does it feel?
4. Has the operating system been updated?
5. How is that possible?
6. I can't test everything!
7. I haven't touched that module!
8. I haven't touched that module in weeks!
9. I'm almost ready.
10. I've never heard about that.
11. It must be a hardware problem.
12. It will be done in no time at all.
13. It worked yesterday.
14. It works on my machine.
15. It works, but it hasn't been tested.
16. It's already there, but it has not been tested.
17. It's just some unlucky coincidence.
18. It's never done that before.
19. Of course, I just have to do these small fixes.
20. Oh, it's just a feature.
21. Somebody must have changed my code.
22. Strange...
23. That's weird...
24. The machine seems to be broken.
25. The user has made an error again.
26. There is something funky in your data.
27. There is something wrong in your test data.
28. There must be a virus in the application software.
29. This can't be the source of that.
30. This can't do that.
31. Well, the program needs some fixing.
32. What did you do to make it blow up?
33. What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?
34. Where were you when the program blew up?
35. Why do you want to do it that way?
36. Yes, it will be ready in time.
37. You can't use that version on your system.
38. You must have the wrong executable/version.