The Best of the Worst Country/Western Song Titles

(These are real titles, folks!)

  1. Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
  2. Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
  3. Do You Love As Good As You Look?
  4. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
  5. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
  6. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
  7. Got In At 2 With a 10, And Woke Up At 10 With a 2.
  8. Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine
  9. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
  10. Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
  11. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
  12. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
  13. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
  14. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
  15. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
  16. I Flushed You From The Toilet Of My Heart.
  17. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
  18. I Wanna Whip Your Cow
  19. I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
  20. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
  21. I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
  22. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite
  23. I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
  24. I'm So miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
  25. I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
  26. I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
  27. I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back While I Cry Over You
  28. I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
  29. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
  30. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
  31. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
  32. If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
  33. If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
  34. If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
  35. If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
  36. Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run, So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
  37. Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
  38. Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
  39. Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
  40. May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
  41. My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
  42. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
  43. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
  44. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
  45. Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
  46. Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
  47. Please Bypass this Heart
  48. She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
  49. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
  50. She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
  51. She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
  52. Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
  53. Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
  54. They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
  55. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
  56. When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
  57. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
  58. You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
  59. You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
  60. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
  61. You Were Only A Splinter in My Ass as I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
  62. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly