Travel Tips


     Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies are effective immediately.

1.    Reducing Meal Expenditures
     a.    Carry a loaf of bread and some peanut butter and jelly
     b.    Cruise the halls looking for catered conference rooms
     c.    Visit the local soup kitchens
     d.    Make use of indigenous roots and berries

2.    Reducing Lodging Expenditures
     a.    Stay with friends or family in the city you're visiting
     b.    Rent a larger car and sleep in the back seat
     c.    Carry your own portable pup tent and stay in a National Park or Campground
     d.    Find shelter under bridges or road culverts

3.    Reducing transportation expenditures
     a.    Drive instead of flying
        1.)    Airfare to Owego is $550
        2.)    Local mileage is only $137.50
        3.)    Be sure to bill direct to contract for the additional 8 hours of labor
     b.    Carry a bicycle instead of renting a car
     c.    Hitchhike in from airport to work location

Travel Tips

     Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies are effective immediately.

Lodging:
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations and office building lobbies may also provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.

Transportation:
     Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on such travel. Airline tickets will only be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used.

     For example, if a meeting is scheduled for Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, the travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle.

Meals:
     Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Hickory Farms, General Nutrition Centers, and Price Club stores often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner.
     Travelers should become familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destination. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should use "all you can eat salad bars." This is especially effective for employees traveling together as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. Employees are also encouraged to bring their own food on official travel. Cans of tuna fish, spam and beefaroni can be consumed at your leisure without unnecessary bother of heating or costly preparation.

Miscellaneous:
     All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in our effort to save budget dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping other travelers with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.