Special High Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all
employees well trained through our program of Special High
Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more
S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on
the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed
on the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially
skilled at seeing that you get all of the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.)
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to
go to the Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our
managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have
to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in job
training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding
Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.)
Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T.
jobs and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity
Programming (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head
of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
Boss In General, Special High Intensity Training,
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)