PMS and VMS

Selected-By: nolan@helios.unl.edu (Harold the Foot)

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

    Oh great and powerful Oracle, please grep your vast stores of knowledge and answer my query:
         I have been helping my girlfriend with her computer assignments, but now she has me stumped. I've learned VMS for Vax, and CMS for IBM, but she tells me she's having trouble with PMS. Can you enlighten me as to what platform PMS runs on, and what notable features it provides?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

         First you need to understand a little Latin. There is suffix form that uses -gina for the feminine and -x for the masculine. The best-known words following this format are the Latin words for king and queen: rex and regina.
         Hence we deduce that a vax is actually a masculinized vagina. And hence we deduce that PMS is to the vagina what VMS is to the vax.
         VMS and PMS have pretty much the same features, as anyone familiar with both could tell you. Both are prone to troublesome emotionalness, and alarming mood swings.
         It should be noted that VMS was created mostly by men, and that these men often acted as if they were suffering from a "virtual menstrual syndrome." They made highly emotional decisions, like not putting in some great TOPS-20 features because they were thought up by somebody in another part of DEC...
         One popular operating system that doesn't suffer from cyclical hormonal syndromes is Eunuchs.