"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan
application, we note that the request is supported by an
Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner
in which you prepared and presented the application, we
must point out that you have only cleared the Title to
the proposed collateral property back to the year 1803.
Before final approval can be accorded, it will be
necessary to clear the title back to it's origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
"Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have Titles extended
further than the 194 years covered by the present
application. I was unaware that any educated person in
this country, particularly those working in the property
arena, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the
U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified
in our application.
"For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the
title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained
from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest
from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by
Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain
named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the
privilege of seeking a new route to India by the then
reigning monarch, Isabella. The good Queen, being a
pious woman and careful about titles, almost as much as
the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of
the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus'
expedition.
"Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of
Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly
accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is
safe to presume that He also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. I hope to hell you are satisfied.
Now, may we have our damn loan?"