1. You have prepared a proposal for the regional director of
purchasing, for your largest customer. The success of this
presentation will mean increasing your sales to his company by
200%. In the middle of your proposal the customer leans over
to look at your report and spits into your coffee. You:
A. Tell him you prefer your coffee black.
B. Ask to have him checked for any communicable diseases.
C. Take a leak in his "OUT" basket.
2. You are having lunch with a prospective customer talking about
what could be your biggest sale of the year. During the
conversation, a blonde walks into the restaurant and she is so
stunning, you draw your companion's attention to her and give
a vivid description of what you would do if you had her alone
in a motel. She walks over to the table and introduces
herself as your clients daughter. Your next move is to:
A. Ask for her hand in marriage.
B. Pretend you've forgotten how to speak English.
C. Repeat the conversation to the daughter and just hope for
the best.
3. You are making a sales presentation to a group of corporate
executives in the plushest office you've ever seen. The hot
enchilada casserole and egg salad sandwich you had for lunch
react, creating a severe pressure. Your sphincter loses its
control and you break wind in a most convincing manner causing
three water tumblers to shatter and a secretary to pass out.
What you should do next is:
A. Offer to come back next week when the odor has gone away.
B. Point out their chief executive and accuse him of the
offense.
C. Challenge anyone in the room to do better.
4. You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome by
an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Remembering this
is definitely a NO-NO, you:
A. Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one
fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril to the
4th joint.
B. Get everyone drunk and organize a nose-picking contest
with a prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
C. Drop you napkin on the floor and when you bend over to
pick it up, blow your nose on your sock.
5. You've just spent the evening with a supplier who invited you
to an all-night boilermaker drinking party. You get home just
in time to go to work. You stagger to the men's room and
spend 1/2 hour vomiting. As you're washing up at the sink,
the sales director walks up, blows his cigar in your face, and
asks you to join him for drinks after work. You:
A. Look him straight in the eye and launch one last
convulsive torrent at his new Hart Shaffner & Marx suit.
B. Nail him right in the crotch, banking on the fact he'll
never recognize your green face.
C. Grasp his hand and pump it until he pees in his pants.
6. You are at dinner with a customer and his wife, who looks like
the runner-up for the Majorie Main look-a-like contest.
Halfway through dinner you feel a hand on your lap. If you
are resourceful you will:
A. Accidentally spill hot coffee in your lap.
B. Slip a note to the waiter to have your customer paged and
see if the hand goes away when HE does.
C. Excuse yourself and go to the men's room. If he follows,
don't come out until you have a signed order.
7. You're on your way to see your best account when your zipper
breaks and you discover that you forgot to put underwear on
this morning. You decide to:
A. Call on the customer's secretary.
B. Put on a baggy raincoat and head for any school
playground.
C. Ask if your client will join you in a game of pocket
pool.
8. You've just returned from a trip to Green Bay, Wisconsin in
January and you tell your boss that nobody but whores and
football players live there. Your boss mentions that his wife
is from Green Bay. You:
A. Ask what position she played.
B. Ask if she's still working the streets.
C. Pretend you're suffering amnesia and don't remember your
own name.
Well that's it! What kind of salesperson would you make. There
are no real answers to this quiz, but we hope you enjoyed reading
the situations and imagining what you would do in those everyday
situations.