Gentleman's Quiz


1.    In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
     a.    Lovemaking
     b.    Screwing
     c.    The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2.    You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
     a.    Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
     b.    Your blood-test results
     c.    Five tequila slammers

3.    You time your orgasm so that:
     a.    Your partner climaxes first
     b.    You both climax simultaneously
     c.    You don't miss SportsCenter

4.    Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
     a.    Healthy, creative love-play
     b.    Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
     c.    Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5.    Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
     a.    The best part of the experience
     b.    The second best part of the experience
     c.    $100 extra

6.    Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
     a.    No concern of yours
     b.    Not a problem - she can join your gym
     c.    A conservative estimate

7.    You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
     a.    A myth
     b.    An oxymoron
     c.    A moron

8.    Foreplay is to sex as:
     a.    Appetiser is to entree
     b.    Priming is to painting
     c.    A queue is to an amusement park ride

9.    Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
     a.    "I hope we can still be friends."
     b.    "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone..."
     c.    "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."

10.    A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
     a.    Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
     b.    Is uptight and a waste of time
     c.    Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Evaluating Your Results

0 Points for each 'A'

1 Point for each 'B'

2 Points for each 'C'

Points
Commentary
0-6
Check your pants to verify you are really a man.
7-13
Check into Therapy, you're still a little confused.
14-20
You be the Man! (a.k.a. PIG)