Hazardous Materials Information Sheet

Chemical Analysis of Woman

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less)
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amount of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed beside a better specimen. Ages rapidly.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for disintegration of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Chemical Analysis of Man

Element: Man
Symbol: XY
Common Name(s): Varies anywhere from John to !@#$&*!
Atomic Weight: 180.100
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young, fresh samples.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get. Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for a prolonged period of time.
pH: Basic. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None really, except sometimes useful as a catalyst in the home electronics installation and programming process.

Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.