The Men's Guide to What a Woman Really Mean


It's your decision: The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want: You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk: I need to complain.
I'm not upset: Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly: You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Be romantic, turn out the lights: I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient: I want a new house.
I need wedding shoes: The other 40 pairs are the wrong shad of white.
Hang the picture there: NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise: I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?: I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?: I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute: Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat?: Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate: Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!?: Too late, you're dead.
Do you like this recipe?: It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
I'm not yelling!: Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

The Woman's Guide to What Men Really Mean

I'm hungry: I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy: I'm sleepy.
I'm tired: I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress!: Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage: I want to fondle you.
What's wrong?: 1What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? 2I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored: Do you want to have sex?
I love you: Let's have sex now.
I love you, too: Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair: 1I liked it better before. 2$50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk: I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me?: I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together: I am gay.