oracle (17)
Name
oracle - answers questions, mostly about sex
Command Syntax
None. You don't command the Oracle to do anything. You
grovel.
Grovel Syntax
mail oracle[@address]
Subject: [sub1] tell me [sub2]
Body: [flatter-oracle] [grovel-oracle] question-body
Description
The Oracle answers any question posed to it. Most
of these questions are sexual in nature (see lisa(17),
teddy_bear(8), and pretty much all of chapter 69).
The flatter-oracle and grovel-oracle are not
strictly necessary to receive an answer, but a small bug
in the Oracle programs results in lightning bolts in such
cases, and so they are strongly recommended.
The question-body should consist of a single
question, grammatically well phrased, containing no typos
or spelling mistakes, and most importantly, not SHOUTED.
The Oracle will return an answer to the question
whenever it feels like. (No, you can't hurry the
Oracle).
Options:
-w Identifies questioner as a 'weenie'. Such a
questioner may ask stupid questions, and not use the
flatter-oracle and grovel-oracle sections. Weenies
are usually not long for this world.
-l Marks a question specifically about Lisa, the
Oracle's nymph and snugglebunny. A question -l on
the FAQ of Lisa questions will be handled by the
Oracular parser, others will be answered directly by
the Oracle, and passed to the top of the question
stack.
-u Requests a UNIX-based answer. This usually takes
the form of a shell script or an interactive Oracle
session, and often comes complete with message from
god@heaven.heaven.com.
-b A questioner using the -b option is blasted,
verbally, emotionally, and possibly with lightning
by the Oracle, for the amusement of the Priesthood.
Make sure your mail handler does not randomly insert
-b in the To: field.
See Also
lisa(17), query(1), grovel(3)