Complete Guide to Parallel Interface

for the Computer Literate

     Select your desired CPU and initiate your standard word processing program to determine compatibility of this CPU for interface.
     Helpful Hint: Once CPU compatibility is established, you may wish to determine a password which will initiate immediate interface session signon. This avoids needless future repetition of the word processing program.
     Locate your CPU in a warm, comfortable location away from drafts, dust, and unnecessary acoustical interference. Place your CPU on a worksurface with sufficient support, preferably at an ergonomically proper work height. It is recommended that any surface on which you place your CPU be covered with a static mat, or, if you choose to locate your CPU on the floor, that the surface be protected by a carpet with a static rating of 1.5KV or less.
     Remove any software or peripherals from your mainframe and that of your CPU (or at least remove software from the lowercase mainframe) to expose the input/output devices. You should fully monitor your CPU, preview its hardware and locate input ports.
     Decide upon the position in which your program session will be executed: Horizontal format or vertical format. (Note: For horizontal format, determine which CPU will be in the override position). At this time, it is helpful for both CPUs to wrap tabs around the other to better accommodate interlink.
     Center the output CPU mouse between the tabs surrounding the parallel port of the input CPU and merge.
     Repeatedly toggle your mouse between back-up and return. It is advised to monitor your CPU display for any signs of glare. It is also advised to maintain your baud rate at a reasonable level to prevent breaks. If all hardware systems continue to function properly, at some point you will achieve macro, at which time input of data will occur.
     Once data transmission is complete, remove your mouse and log out of the interface session. You will now begin the recover phase.
     Remember: There's no on-line HELP function, so easy DOS it!

Glossary of Terms Commonly Used in Interface

Abort: Deletion of copies created through parallel interface.
Back-up: Reverse line feed, removal of the mouse from the parallel port (also called remove, backspace).
Baud Rate: Speed at which parallel interface occurs.
Bits: Discrete particles of data (Hint: It is advised to keep a static wipe handy to mop up any bits which might escape onto the worksurface during parallel interface).
Break: An emergency interface session termination caused by failure of hardware components.
Commands: Word processing program blocks used by the CPU in control.
Control: Whichever CPU is initiating signon session (See ruler).
Copy: A duplicate CPU which can be created through interface.
CPU: Copulation Participatory Unit.
Cursor: A word processing program executed by incompatible CPUs; also commonly heard if break or escape sequence is initiated during interface.
Data: Transmissible particles of copy text.
Display: Portion of the uppercase mainframe where the monitors and the word processing output device are stored.
Double Density: Multiple interlinks during a single signon session.
Double Side: An attribute of interface in which more than one position is used during interlink.
Dust Cover: Another term for software for your mainframe.
Enter: (See Merge).
Floppy Disks: A common attribute of input CPUs, not advisable to be commented upon in the word processing program.
Footers: A variation of interface in which certain lowercase mainframe tabs are deployed (refer to Advanced Features).
Glare: A possible attribute of the input CPU display if interlink is not acceptable.
Hard Disk: A anomalous condition of the floppy disks; suggest scheduling a maintenance/repair call.
Hard Drive: An emergency line feed procedure which can be initiated if the input CPU does not readily accept connection with the ouput CPU mouse - NOT RECOMMENDED.
Operating Procudure: (See RAM).
Headers: A variation of interface in which the output CPU inserts its mouse into the input CPUs word processing output device.
High Density: Also known as "highly dense", a common attribute of the computer literate, as shown by the need for the creation of this manual.
Input: Transmission of data from output CPU to input CPU.
Input CPU: The CPU (copulation participatory unit) which receives data from the output CPU.
Interlink: The act of connecting compatible CPUs through parallel interface.
Line Feed: The action of insertion of the output CPU mouse into the input CPU parallel port.
Log Out: Removal of the mouse upon termination of the interface session.
Lowercase: Area of the mainframe where the mouse and mouse pad are stored on the output CPU, and the parallel port is stored on the input CPU.
Macro: The phase of interlink during which CPUs achieve maximum sensory overload; also when output CPUs input data to input CPUs.
Mainframe: The hardware system of the CPU.
Merge: Initiating interlink.
Modem: A slang term, short for "more of them", signifying the desire of a CPU to initiate a signon interface session or to create a double density interface session.
Monochrome Monitor: Attribute given to analyzing your mainframe or hardware in poor ambient lighting conditions, leading to being only able to see the mainframe in black and white.
Mouse: A slang term for the output CPU's data transmission device.
Mouse Pad: Area of the mainframe on the output CPU where the mouse is stored.
On: As in "Turn On", the act of preparing the input CPU for interlink and data transmission.
Output CPU: The CPU which transmits data to the input CPU.
Override: Descriptive term for whichever CPU assumes the superior position during parallel interface.
Parallel Interface: Interlink between consenting CPUs.
Parallel Port: Area of the mainframe on the input CPU into which the mouse of the output CPU is inserted during parallel interface.
Pause: A short interval between interlinks in double density signon sessions.
PC Jrs: Slang term for CPU copies which can be created through parallel interface if preventive precautions are not taken (See Surge Protector).
PC Program: A Personal Copulation Program developed by a CPU, usually involving a complex series of interface program variations (Note: requires Extended Memory).
Peripherals: Like software, additional coverings of the mainframe, commonly connected to auditory input devices or other tabs. (Examples: earrings, watch, necklace, etc.).
RAM: An emergency line feed procedure which can be initiated if the input CPU does not readily accept interlink with the ouput CPU mouse - NOT RECOMMENDED OPERATING PROCEDURE (See also Hard Drive).
Recover: Interval between initiation of new interface signon sessions.
Return: Replacement of the output CPU mouse into the input CPU parallel port after Back-up is executed (See Back-up).
ROM: (acronym for "Really Orgasmic, Man!"), describes the sensory condition during the MACRO phase of parallel interface during which the output CPU transmits data to the input CPU.
Ruler: The CPU initiating interface signon.
Select: The process of determining the compatibility of CPU operating programs.
Serial Interface: Interface between more than two CPUs during a signon session (See Advanced Features).
Shift: Attribute of double sided interlink when the position of one of the CPUs is edited.
Signon Session: The interval during which parallel interface occurs.
Single Density: Only one interlink during a signon session.
Single Side: Attribute of interface in which only one interlink position is employed.
Software: Protective covering for your mainframe (see also Dustcovers and Peripherals).
Surge: Flow of current into the mouse of the output CPU, preparing the mouse for insertion into the input CPUs parallel port.
Surge Protector: A protective covering for the output CPU's mouse. Note: especially desirable to prevent viruses from infiltrating CPU operating systems and for cancelling the Copy program. (See PC Jrs).
Tabs: Protrusions of the mainframe allowing mobility and/or sensory input, excluding the floppy disks and mouse. (Examples: arms, legs, hands, feet)
Terminate: Ending an interface session.
Uppercase: Portion of the mainframe where the display is located, also where input CPU floppy disks are stored.
Virus: A defective program transmitted through parallel interface.
Word Processing: A program initiated by either CPU to determine compatibility, also used to issue commands during interface.
Wrap: Placing mainframe tabs around your CPU to better effect interlink.