The Lesser-Known Programming Languages
The Lesser-Known Programming Languages
#10 -- SIMPLE
Simple is an acronym for Sheer Idiot's Monopurpose Programming
Language Environment. This language, developed at the Hanover
College for Technological Misfits, was designed to make it
impossible to write code with errors in it. The statements are,
therefore, confined to BEGIN, END and STOP. No matter how you
arrange the statements, you can't make a syntax error. Programs
written in Simple do nothing useful. Thus they achieve the results
of programs written in other languages without the tedious,
frustrating process of testing and debugging.
#12 -- LITHP
This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the
absence of an "S" in its character set; users must substitute "TH".
LITHP is said to be useful in protheththing lithtth.
#13 -- SLOBOL
Slobol is best known for the speed, or lack of it, of its compiler.
Although many compilers allow you to take a coffee break while they
compile, Slobol compilers allow you to travel to Bolivia to pick
the coffee. Forty-three programmers are known to have died of
boredom sitting at their terminals while waiting for a Slobol
program to compile. Weary Slobol programmers often turn to a
related (but infinitely faster) language, Cocaine.
#17 -- Sartre
Named after the late existential philosopher, Sartre is an
extremely unstructured language. Statements in Sartre have no
purpose; they just are. Thus Sartre programs are left to define
their own functions. Sartre programmers tend to be boring and
depressed, and are no fun at parties.