Boomers: Full-throated, rousing explosions; the parent organism
frequently betrays his or her authorship with a smile of
ill-concealed pride.
Carpet Creepers: Heavier-than-air creations, these linger and
permeate the atmosphere at or near ground level; source invariably
anonymous, having already left the room.
Fizzles: Efforts at first promising, but eventual unsatisfactory,
at least to the donor; often surprisingly effective on bystanders.
Often the last of a series; originator betrays disappointment.
One-Cheek Sneeks: Attempted sureptitious contributions, usually
signified by the artist's telltale "tilting". Ricocheting off
metal "bridge chairs" or church pews, they possess satisfactory
resonance, produce blushes, giggles, glares.
Poohs: Open-sphincter donations, gusty and full-bodied, but
lacking sonority; popular on buses; customarily unacknowledged.
SBDs (Silent But Deadly): Consistant with the Law of the
Conservation of Energy, what a SBD lacks in audible qualities is
compensated for in semi-lethal olfactory intensity. The mechanism
responsible is usually the innocent-looking person glancing about
susupiciously.
Screamers: High-pitched, tight-sphincter offerings, often of
astonishing duration and tonal variation; most pleasurably
exchanged among roommates or frat brothers, or inspired by presence
of officious bureacrat.
Squeegies: Small, immature and moist products. Humiliating for
all concerned.
Wet Ones (aka Brewers' Farts, grains and all, Fudgies, Playing
Misty): Samples are accompanied by gutteral, rasping or lisping
sound, indicating vaporous content. Originator registers
astonishment, dread, then usually departs, walking funny.