What Men Say... and What They Really Mean!
What men say: I'm hungry.
What men mean: I'm hungry.
What men say: I'm sleepy.
What men mean: I'm sleepy.
What men say: I'm tired.
What men mean: I'm tired.
What men say: I've gotta pee.
What men mean: Get out of the way, I've gotta pee.
What men say: Can I call you sometime?
What men mean: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
What men say: Do you want to go to a movie?
What men mean: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
What men say: Can I take you out to dinner?
What men mean: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
What men say: Can I get your coat?
What men mean: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
What men say: Let me get your door.
What men mean: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
What men say: May I have this dance?
What men mean: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
What men say: Nice dress!
What men mean: Nice cleavage!
What men say: You look tense, let me give you a massage.
What men mean: I want to fondle you.
What men say: What's wrong?
What men mean: 1I guess sex tonight is out of the question. 2I don't see why you're making such a big deal about this. 3What
meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What men say: I'm bored.
What men mean: Do you want to have sex?
What men say: I love you.
What men mean: Let's have sex now!
What men say: I love you too.
What men mean: Ok, I said it. Now can we have sex?
What men say: Good morning.
What men mean: That was great sex. Let's have more!
What men say: See you later.
What men mean: That was great sex. Let's have more!
What men say: Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.
What men mean: 1I liked it better before you cut your hair. 2$50 and it doesn't look that much different!
What men say: Let's talk.
What men mean: I'm trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
What men say: Will you marry me?
What men mean: 1I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. 2I might as well get tax benefits for going
through these talks.
What men say: I'm going fishing
What men mean: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish
swim by in complete safety.
What men say: It's a guy thing
What men mean: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
What men say: Can I help with dinner?
What men mean: Why isn't it already on the table?
What men say: Uh huh, sure, honey. Yes, dear.
What men mean: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
What men say: It would take too long to explain.
What men mean: I have no idea how it works.
What men say: We're going to be late.
What men mean: Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.
What men say: I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind.
What men mean: I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.
What men say: Take a break, honey, you're working too hard.
What men mean: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
What men say: That's interesting, dear.
What men mean: Are you still talking?
What men say: It's a really good movie.
What men mean: It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women.
What men say: That's women's work.
What men mean: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.
What men say: You know how bad my memory is.
What men mean: I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification
Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.
What men say: I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.
What men mean: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
What men say: Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal.
What men mean: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt.
What men say: Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing.
What men mean: And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
What men say: I can't find it.
What men mean: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
What men say: What did I do this time?
What men mean: What did you catch me at?
What men say: I heard you.
What men mean: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that
you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.
What men say: You know I could never love anyone else.
What men mean: I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.
What men say: I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are.
What men mean: No one will ever see us alive again.
What men say: We share the housework.
What men mean: I make the messes, she cleans them up.
While Shopping
What men say: Yes, that one's nice.
What men mean: Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway?
What men say: That one looks great on you.
What men mean: Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
What men say: I like that one better.
What men mean: Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! (Besides, you aren't going to listen anyway.)
What men say: You look terrific.
What men mean: Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving.
What men say: Uh huh.
What men mean: Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
What men say: I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together.
What men mean: I'm gay.
What men say: It makes you look fat.
What men mean: I'm really stupid!