Reading and Interpreting a Résumé

Extremely adept at all manner of office organization means you've used Microsoft Office.

I'm honest, hard-working and dependable means I pilfer office supplies.

My pertinent work experience includes... means I hope you don't ask me about all the "other" jobs I've had.

I take pride in my work means I blame others for my mistakes.

I'm personable means I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.

I'm extremely professional means I carry a Day-Timer.

I am adaptable means I've changed jobs a lot.

I am on the go means I'm never at my desk.

I'm highly motivated to succeed means the minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.