Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who
belong to your club.
Americans: Believe people should look out for and take care of
themselves.
Canadians: Believe that it's the government's job.
Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer. Sing loudly and
off-key after drinking several beers; national anthem sounds like
drunken snoring.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively
patriotic to the point of ignorance and blindness. Their national
anthem is an old British drinking song.
Canadians: Can't even agree on the words to their anthem in one
language, let alone actually be bothered to sing it... except
before SOME hockey games. No idea who composed it or their
nationality.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform
"God Save the Queen." Most couldn't carry a tune in a basket.
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the "idiot box."
Canadians: Don't - unless it's "Hockey Night in Canada" - but sure
as Hell would if they could get more American TV channels.
Brits: Pay a ridiculously high tax just so they can watch four
channels, not a bloody one of them worth a damn.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there
watches anyway, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about American football,
baseball, and basketball. And the weather.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, football, and
rugby. THEIR weather isn't WORTH discussing.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey,
hockey, and MORE hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice,
playing baseball. Their weather is best described as 9 months of
winter and 3 months of bad skating.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the wanker
Brits in every sport they play them in. Could give a big rat's
arse about the weather.
Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it
"English."
Canadians: Spell like the Brits; pronounce worse than the
Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they
say in an attempt to get laid.
Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on
an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on
an island.
Americans: Cross their southern border for cheap shopping, gas,
liquor and cigarettes in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross their southern border for cheap shopping, gas,
liquor and cigarettes in a backwards country.
Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer. Belch and fart a lot.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer. Too polite to belch;
too poor to fart.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss. Afraid of the tax for
belching; afraid to fart for fear of arrest for mocking the Queen
clearing her throat.
Aussies: Will drink anything with alcohol in it, regardless of
taste.
Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally
suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally
suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure
are inherited traits or gifts from the Queen.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after a few
beers.