Why is a Cucumber better than a Man
1. A cucumber always goes down easy.
2. A cucumber doesn't cum (no mess).
3. A cucumber doesn't get jealous when you grab another cucumber
(or even a carrot).
4. A cucumber is always hard.
5. A cucumber won't get upset if you come home with another
cucumber on your breath (or a fresh leafy vegetable in your
pocket).
6. A frigid cucumber is a fresh cucumber.
7. After you've had a cucumber, who cares what it's worth?
8. Cucumber can't tell time, so they don't know when you're late.
9. Cucumber skins come off without a fight.
10. Cucumber stains wash out.
11. Cucumbers can't get you pregnant.
12. Cucumbers don't demand equality.
13. Cucumbers don't fool around.
14. Cucumbers don't get drunk (although they have been known to
get pickled now and then).
15. Cucumbers never have headaches (or any other contagious
diseases)
16. If you eat a cucumber right, you always have a mouthful.
17. Stomach aches go away in the morning, or after you take alka-seltzer.
18. The older a cucumber, the larger it gets.
19. When you go to the grocery store, you can always pick up a
cucumber -- and you can check out the meat in the deli, too!
20. When your cucumber goes soft you toss it.
21. You always know that you're the first one to eat that
particular cucumber.
22. You can enjoy a cucumber all night long.
23. You can have a cucumber in pubic... oops, I mean Public!
24. You can have more than one cucumber a night and not feel
guilty (they're low in calories)
25. You can keep a cucumber in your apartment without upsetting
your mother.
26. You can share a cucumber with friends.
27. You don't have to drink wine and dine with a cucumber before
getting to the fun stuff.
28. You don't have to wash a cucumber before it tastes good.
29. You don't have to watch where a cucumber puts its hands.
30. Your cucumber will always wait patiently for you in the car
while you go shopping.