If Were Airplanes Run by Operating Systems


DOS
Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc.

Macintosh
All the flight attendants, captains, baggage handlers, ticket agents look the same, act the same, talk the same. Every time you ask a question, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know and everything will be done for you without your knowing, so just shut up.

OS/2
To get on board, you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form
asking how you want your seating arranged - with the look and feel of an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you get on board and off the ground, you will have a wonderful trip, until the flaps and rudder freeze in which case you will have just enough time to say your prayers before you crash.

Windows
Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy access to the plane, uneventful takeoff. Then: BOOM! You blow up without any warning whatsoever.

NT
Everyone sits on the runway and forms the outline of an airplane, and then makes the sound of an airplane taking off.

UNIX
Everyone brings their own piece of the airplane. Then they go to the runway and piece the plane together, all the while arguing what kind of airplane they're building.