A question left hanging by John Cleese, "What is the value of
a dead parrot?" has finally been resolved by a Barcelona judge.
His honour Antonio Nunio de la Rosa has ruled that a dead parrot is
worth 150,000 pesetas ($815).
He was awarding damages to Maria del Carmen Dotras, whose
parrot (male, green) died, passed away, turned moribund, ceased to
exist, and, in short, became defunct two years ago in the city's
Vall d'Hebron hospital. Ms. Dotras, who lives with her mother, had
owned the bird for 23 years, since she was 12.
Her family doctor suspected the parrot might be the cause of
an allergy her mother had developed. He wanted it to have a blood
test, and told her it would be better done by a doctor than a vet.
This proved not to be the case.
According to Ms. Dotras, the doctors virtually suffocated the
bird by putting a towel over its head, and took out six times as
much blood as they were supposed to. Eventually, a consultant
ordered it to be put out of its misery.
Ms. Dotras put the dead bird in the freezer, to facilitate an
autopsy. In fact, the deep freezing made it impossible to
determine the cause of death.
But as Judge Nunio de la Rosa observed in judgement --
passages of which might have come from a Monty Python script: "The
parrot has been deceased, and cannot be revived." He decided the
hospital authorities and the doctor responsible should pay the sum
equivalent to a new bird. He dismissed Ms. Dotra's claim for
damages of one million pesetas ($5,435). This had been based, in
part, on th argument that her parrot could talk.
Drawing a fine distinction that will be of assistance in
future, similar cases, the judge ruled that it merely "articulated
sounds similar to those of people. If the parrot had been able to
talk," he reasoned, "it would have complained."