Observation of Warm Nuclear Fusion in Condensed Soup

by Joseph D. Lykken

Abstract: We report the observation of warm nuclear fusion of deuteron pairs catalyzed by a concentrated colloidal suspension of avian lipids. We present a simple theoretical model relating this process to superstring theory, quantum wormholes, fractal geometry, and high temperature superconductors. A straightforward scaling argument shows that the total annual energy requirements of the United States can be produced from approximately 137.03602 g of catalyst.

1. Introduction

     Recent observations of cold nuclear fusion of deuteron pairs, through electrolysis in solutions of metallic salts, has generated considerable excitement in the physics community and elsewhere. The fusion catalysis process described by Fleischmann and Pons does, however, have several drawbacks when considered as a putative means of mass power generation. The process is slow, requiring a continuous electrical power input of several hours before the onset of fusion. In addition, this process requires costly palladium or titanium cathodes, as well as highly toxic combinations of dissolved metallic salts.
     The modified warm fusion process which we have discovered (independently) and which is described in this paper suffers none of these disadvantages. In our process, the salt solution is augmented by a concentrated colloidal suspension of certain avian lipid compounds, available in an inexpensive commercial preparation (i.e., Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup) in arbitrarily large quantities. This preparation is not only non-toxic, but actually healthful. Instead of requiring several hours of applied external current, our process induces fusion after gentle heating to 90 degrees Celsius, maintained for five minutes. The palladium cathode is replaced by an inexpensive chromium-plated utensil, which is given an approximately circular motion induced by elementary mechanical means.
     Since our fusion catalysis technique is so simple, we will not belabor the description of the process itself, but instead focus on the analysis of the data and present an obvious theoretical model for the underlying physics.

2. Neutron Calorimetry and Data Analysis

     Although, as we shall demonstrate, our warm fusion technique can readily produce a net power output in the tera-watt range, our initial experimental setup operated at a more modest scale. Rather than resorting to direct detection of fusion product neutrons, we employed a highly accurate neutron calorimetry procedure. We first measured the total external power supplied to our system. This involved reading the electric meter on the circuit containing our (electrically powered) heating apparatus, and correcting for other power drains on the circuit, such as lightbulbs, radios, and video cassette recorders. We then corrected this power reading for the electricity/heat conversion efficiency of our apparatus, taken from an authoritative source (c.f. The World Book Encyclopedia). Further corrections were made for cosmic ray background radiation incident on our apparatus, energy deposition from proton decay within the apparatus, and additional heat from minor amounts of paprika contamination.
     To determine the total energy output from 300 seconds of catalyzed fusion events, 400 cc of the solution was ingested by a 75 kg male homo sapien volunteer subject. After a short digestion period, the subject was led through a series of mechanical tasks (The Jane Fonda Ultimate Challenge Workout) and the resulting power output -- estimated by sophisticated nonlinear biodynamic integro-differential hyperelliptic functional analysis, simulated numerically on a Cray XMP supercomputer. Details of this analysis will be presented in a future publication.
     The results of our analysis for a 400 cc catalytic solution were as follows:
Total average external power input 1193.762 watts
Total average power output 1196.885 watts
Net average power output due to fusion 3.123 watts

3. Theoretical Model

     Although our experimental results may seem somewhat surprising to the uninitiated, there is a simple theoretical explanation of the underlying physics responsible for efficient warm fusion catalysis in lipid suspensions. As is well known, the principal obstacle to deuteron fusion is the Coulombic potential barrier induced by the electrostatic repulsion of the positively charged particles. A straight-forward application of ten-dimensional heterotic superstring dynamics shows that deuterons can percolate through the Coulomb barrier through the spontaneous generation of quantum wormholes. One can easily see why this process is enhanced in the presence of suspended avian lipids by applying the Anthropic Principle. Obviously, if the laws of physics did not produce such an enhancement, we could not have observed it in our universe, and a contradiction of our material existence would result. The perforation of the Coulomb barrier by quantum wormholes is elegantly described in terms of fractal geometry; an analytic continuation to planar surfaces produces analogous electromagnetic anomalies in resonant spin liquids, thus explaining the behavior of high temperature superconductors. Details of this model will appear in a future publication.

4. Future Outlook

     We have considered the problem of scaling up our warm fusion technique to provide the commercial and strategic defense power requirements of the United States. The appropriate scaling law was obtained by repeating our initial experiment, but adding only half as much water to our commercial preparation as called for in the instructions. With this additional concentration of the catalytic solution, we obtained a net power output increase of 0.00016%. Clearly, by continuing to halve the amount of added water, we can obtain an arbitrarily high power of this enhancement factor, and thus any level of power output desired. We estimate that, by limiting the amount of added water to 3 micrograms (easily accomplished through national technical means), more than 10 terawatts of warm fusion power could be produced.
     We strongly urge, and fervently hope, that the power of chicken soup will only be used for peaceful purposes.