Fortune's Diet Truths


     Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV to plug her latest book. And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself the following questions:

     1.    Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a food?
     2.    Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
     3.    Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as prescribed... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai? (Remember, living right doesn't really make you live longer, it just seems like longer.)

     That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.