Washington is For Bureaucrats:
A Capital Slogan

From the Thursday, January 21, 1999 edition of The Washington Post, page C1:

"Washington D.C.: The American Experience."

This is the slogan unveiled Tuesday by Mayor Anthony Williams that is supposed to magically entice thousands of heavy-walleted tourists to visit our town. Now, we love our city. We love our new mayor (so far). But this slogan just doesn't rate.

It sounds like something cooked up by a bunch of marketing geniuses after a morning in the Smithsonian. It's blah. "Virginia Is for Lovers" had a little more zip. So did "Maryland Is for Crabs." Washington deserves something... better. Like:

1. Washington D.C.: A Million Lawyers Can't Be Wrong
2. Washington D.C.: Soundbite City
3. Washington D.C.: No Vote, No Hassle
4. Washington D.C.: More Than Guano-Covered Monuments
5. Washington D.C.: Our New Mayor Doesn't Smoke Crack
6. Washington D.C.: Strom Thurmond's Kind of Town
7. Washington D.C.: No More Bullets. Honest!
8. Washington D.C.: Where Senior Class Presidents Live On
9. Washington D.C.: Is Not for Lovers, But Could Be if the Subcommittee on Love, Romance and Related Issues Approves the Proposed Measure.
10. Washington D.C.: Where the Disconnect Begins
11. Washington D.C.: It Depends on What Your Definition of 'Living' Is
12. Washington D.C.: Wine, Woman and Thong.