There is no such place as California.
It is a mythical state. And all the things that have happened
there were just made up.
Once the truth was out, the two men told me the whole story.
How did it all begin, I asked.
"It stated innocently enough years ago when Mark Twain wrote
something funny about a place he imagined.
"Later, other humor writers realized it was good material and
they kept the joke going.
"Then a groups of wealthy men who shared a bizarre sense of
humor got together and formed something called 'The Crazy
California Caper Club.'
"Their idea was to convince not only the country but the
entire world that there was a nutty place called California. And
anything fantastic they thought of, they'd say it happened there.
"They controlled the papers, the books and everything else, so
it was easier than you'd imagine."
But what happened when people wanted to go to California?
"That was easy, too, and profitable. Remember, they
controlled the railroads, ships, later the airlines, the highway
building companies, the politicians, and they owned land
everywhere.
"They'd just run a train or a highway out to some barren place
in a swamp or a desert, put up some ranch-style houses, or
tri-levels, have a couple of mud-slides, forest fires, and then
people would come pouring in."
You mean people who now think they are in California are
really...?
"Right. They're scattered all over the world. The town of
San Diego, for example, is on the coast of Chile on some land old
John P. Rockyfeller wanted to get rid of."
Then their motive was really profit?
"No. Fun was and is the main purpose.
"Those rich old geezers would get together and think of the
darndest jokes.
"Like the time one of them said: 'Say, a fellow down at my
plant has invented something called a movie camera. Why don't we
say there's a place called Hollywood and have movie stars living in
mansions, drinking champagne, getting divorced every two days, and
make them national heroes.'
"That busted everybody up. They started making up the stars'
names _ Francis X. Bushman, Rudy Vallee, Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter,
Butt Stake. And they went ahead and did it.
"And there was the time one of them thought how funny it would
be if people lived in shoe boxes _ and out came the idea of the
'California ranch house.'
"And there was the idea of saying there is a parking lot a
thousand miles long in California _ and the whole concept of
expressways was born."
There was the hippies, and Rose Bowl parade.
"Right. And then somebody thought of making up an Earl
Warren. And somebody else though of having a John Birch Society
always going nuts trying to impeach him.
"Actually, it amazed me. We'd just put anything, no matter
how wacky it was, on television and say it happened in California,
and people believed it.
"Why, I remember the day the club said: 'Hey, let's have a
dancer named George Murphy become a U.S. senator from California.'
Even I thought that was going too far.
"Well, you know how a joke can snowball. So once we got on
the political humor, we stayed with it.
"Yes. I thought of the Ronald Reagan thing. What a party and
what a hangover the next morning.
"I guess we went too far, though. What tipped you off _ the
Ronald Reagan for president gag?"
No. It was the Shirley Temple for Congress bit. Even a hoax
must have a touch of believability.
"I told them that would ruin it. I wanted the Little Old Wine
Maker to be the candidate."